Dealing with family in general is not easy for some people and it takes a lot of patience, Love, prayer to deal with some family members that we can’t get along with. Everyone goes though different things in their life and dealing with family is tricky but at the same time can be weird and sad. Family is very important to me and I love having family over and spending time together, I love having family functions and playing cards games and just getting to know family better because at end of the day, all you have is family to rely on and some friends.
But some family is too far gone for you to talk to and you guys may have had a fight and went your separate ways. Some people gets disown by members of the family over small things. My story is very different from other people or maybe not. But to sum it up, some of the family on my mom’s side are nuts and it seems like the older they get, the worst they get in their ways. If you want the answers on how to deal with family that doesn’t care about you, look below this page but I will talk about my story on family and maybe you are going though the same thing that I am going though.
My Story:
I won’t talk about my childhood but that will take all day. What I will say is that my mother had a problem with how she treat people and her the way her mind works. She is hot or cold person which means that she may like you or she don’t like you. She neither mad with you or she is not mad with you. Neither we be talking and everything is good or we are not talking, it’s never in between like you can upset with someone and still talk to that person.
If you did something small to her that you didn’t even know you did, she won’t tell you until like 5 or 10 years later, after you forgot all about it. That is what she does all the time, if you said something that you thought was not offending anyone but she may get offended, she won’t tell you. She would just say nothing and hold that against you and not talk to you. My older brother has the same problem. That’s why we can’t get along, she holds things in and won’t tell about unless you ask what’s wrong.
Right now at the time of me writing this post my son is 2 years old and she has not seen my son. Her only grandson, she has not seen him or any called to see hows he doing or does he need anything and I don’t know why and she won’t tell me anything. What I did to her, I don’t know, whatever it is, it’s something that happened a long time ago. My side of the family is not close at all. They are stuck in their old ways and it has not gotten better. I remember a couple of years ago my mom and I had a talk and she told me the reason she was mad at me. She told me that I haven’t cut grass, one time we talked on the phone I sounded like my older brother one day a long time ago.
Well I told her that I haven’t cut your grass in 10 years, If you wanted for me to cut your grass, you should had said something but during those 10 years I was always giving her money when she ask me. If she would have asked, I would have cut her grass but that’s just one of the things she said that made no sense. I told her why didn’t you ask in year 1 or year 2 but I was giving you money all this time. I will call her and get no answer, she only picks up the phone on Mother’s day and her birthday.
It’s nuts I know but what can I do? My wife and I sent her a birthday card in the mail. She took the card, placed it in a yellow envelope, and placed it back in our mailbox, that’s nut. She told me the reason she did that is cause she was mad at me. For what, I don’t know during this time I have not talk to her in over 5 months so what is she mad about. Till this day, we don’t talk and it hurts when I was giving her money all the time and now she disowns me and my son. What did my son do to her? Why disown him?
There are more things that happened in between these times but bottom line. I don’t know what I did to her? It’s hard when she lives 15 mins away and my wife live 1 hour and a half away and my mother in law have done more for our son and spent more time with him. My older acts the same way, things in the past that happened that affected him that was not a big deal and no one knows about, he holds it in.
The most part we hung out after things that he is mad about so I am thinking everything is cool but then he thinks about the past, then gets mad and disowns, it’s sad. I don’t know what I did and they will disown you before you know what they are mad about. This what I am living, family with drama. But I have learned to deal with family and here’s how.
How to deal with family that doesn’t care about you?
It’s been 4 years since these things have happened and I am always the one calling family and for them not to pick up my calls gets old. I tried and tried to get along, to how out what’s wrong, to how out what I have done, it comes to a point where I prayed for my family, I talked to my wife about what’s going on, and over time I realize that you can’t changed people. I can’t fix people mindset, sometimes I can but sometimes I can’t. I took to prayer on this and I decided to pull back the calling and reaching out starting in the year 2020.
My wife and I went to church for new year’s eve and while in church I prayed to God that I am just going to let things be, I will on longer be calling them on the call when they will not pick up my call. I have to live my life, I have a wife and son to think about. I have a son to rise to be the best man he can be. family that answer my calls, who wants to be in our life, who is there for us, those are the family that I focus on.
Pray and put your faith in God and he will lead you down the right path, ask him for help. Next focus on the family is wants to be your life. I think we give to much attention to family who don’t care and not enough to family who do care. I believe that God restore people who don’t want to be in your life.
My wife side of the family has really shown me what family is all about. They have been kind to me and have been there for me. My father in law showed me how to change oil in my wife car. Since my mom has not been in the picture, my mother in law has step in and been like a mother to me and a grandma to our son. God restores all, so I pray to God, talk to people and get it off your chest, keep in mind that life goes on. Focus on your family that want to be in your life.
